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Tips for flying with the kids

A wing and a prayer

Also see: Flight attendants offer advice to parents

While vacations can be fun and relaxing, getting there and getting home can be anything but, if you're on a plane.

Ah, the joys of family travel. Harriet regularly flies with her two boys - Henry (left), 5, and Daniel, 3, who wasn't too happy recently at Lindbergh Field. That was Uncle Mark's helping hand with Henry, so mom could get everyone on board on time.

We asked parents to tell us their experiences traveling with infants, toddlers and young children so you can learn from their mistakes and their creative solutions. The responses were immediate, and nearly three dozen parents passed on creative ideas you can use on your family's next trip.

First up is Lisa, who sent a ton of helpful hints that she and her husband, John, use when traveling with their daughter, 6, and their 4-year-old son.

"These tips are the result of many flights over 6½ years," she writes, "mostly successful, with some noteworthy and very memorable failures (including the barfing baby en route to Tokyo when I was on the receiving end)":

Dramatically reduce TV and movie-watching for the 48 hours before you fly, so the DVD is a treat.

Apologize from the outset to the people sitting in front of the children. We explain that we want to know if they are kicking the seat, etc. This puts people at ease and tells them that you are trying to teach your children courtesy. They are also very likely to forgive the occasional bump or kick that would otherwise have resulted in a dirty look.

Start now in teaching the kids not to kick the seat in front of them. I rotate who sits behind me in the automobile, and I am vigilant about no kicking – ever – every day.

Consider sitting behind each other instead of along one row. Seat younger children behind a family member instead of a stranger.

Put the kids in FAA-approved car seats for as many years as possible.

It looked like it might be a long flight for these parents, whose boys clearly had some excess energy before they boarded their plane.Sprinting to the gate, like the man on the right, is not the best start to a family trip.

Unless your children are truly toilet-trained and can "hold it," put them in pull-ups in case of emergency.

Resign yourself to being disheveled, bruised, sweaty and sticky during the air-travel process. Tell yourself that the flight will end, and each minute represents many, many minutes of car travel.

When you ask for beverages during the flight, ask for no ice and half full.

Each of our children has a cabin bag that rolls. They must each pull it themselves.

My husband maintains a permanent checklist. We now have the kids help pack their own cabin bags.

We have learned to "cross-pack." If you use more than one suitcase, spread the belongings among them. Don't have a "kids" suitcase and a "parent suitcase." You can survive a lost piece of luggage that way.

Other parents had equally good advice:

We have embarked on several flights and road trips with our three little ones. One trick that has worked is simply asking the children what they want to bring rather than guessing.

Each child has his or her own backpack, which they can fill with small toys and art supplies. I pack a larger bag with the games and movies that they select. I also have them select healthy snacks. They really can't complain about a toy or snack when they made the selection. This will be employed this summer when we head out to visit seven states for 35 days in a 40-foot RV!

One other trick that we used when the children were infants was offering to purchase cocktails for passengers surrounding us on flights when our babies were screaming during takeoff. Just the offer was more than enough to let them know that we recognized we were inconveniencing them and would appreciate their patience. Worked like a charm every time, and we didn't get "looks" from annoyed passengers!

Natalie

My son is now 4 years old. He is a well-seasoned traveler. One word of wisdom with the little ones. We are so busy packing extra clothes for them that we forget ourselves. It seems that whenever my son spilled something, it ended up on me, not him. So, bring an extra set of clothing for yourself. Also, I remember numerous times that I was unable to change his diaper during flight. ... After many accidents, I learned to line his car seat (on the plane) with an opened diaper.

Villalobos

My great idea is a "surprise backpack." It is fun for any age and does not have to cost a lot of money. Essentially we need coloring books, books, kids magazines, crayons, juice box, crackers, action figures, GameBoy game, travel games, Hot Wheels cars and a little bit of their favorite candies. I keep everything hidden in their backpack, and they cannot look inside until the plane takes off.

Annie

I wrap several little "gifts," which I dole out every 20 minutes to a half hour or so – and the best are self-sticking foam kits (found in Michaels craft store). Be prepared to "sacrifice" many items and leave them on the plane. I find small new toys that they haven't seen before, and wrap them, too.

Andrea

As a mom of six who's traveled with them over the last 20 years, the very best advice I can give is to keep them occupied!

Be resigned to the fact that you are going to have to help them to be entertained: passing out snacks, reading them books, drawing with them, etc. Sitting reading a magazine doesn't cut it, nor does shushing them as they squirm and kick in their seats.

The days of gazing out at the clouds or reading your book will come soon enough – too soon!

Lisa

Arrange to fly during toddler's sleep time, for example, early mornings. Parents should let their toddlers be active before boarding and have a warm bottle of milk during boarding to allow the toddlers to sleep/nap for the duration.

Collin

Lollipops. Lollipops end the fighting, the whining and crying, and the questions ("Why does that man's hair stick out like that?" and "Are we there yet?") Lollipops can't be crushed in your purse or eaten too quickly and take some concentration to suck on. You'll enjoy surprising peace and quiet.

Tonya Lehman, La Mesa

The Feedback Parents were asked to share what they have learned traveling with children had tons of advice, but there were things that showed up over and over. So, we've taken them and rolled them into what we call The List, with the Top 10 items you dare not travel without: Car seat for the plane DVD player/hand-held games Food – snacks, meals, drinks, lollipops Change of clothes – for everyone in the family Toys/games/sticker books, etc. More diapers and baby wipes than you ever think you'll need Comfort items – blanket or stuffed animal Backpacks for every member of the family to cram all the above into Disposable bottles, "sippy" cups and cold medications Lots of patience

I recently flew from Scottsdale to Fort Lauderdale, Fla., with my daughter, and 10-month-old granddaughter. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Freeze teething items and wrap to keep them cold.

2. Adults should wear dark, comfortable clothing so spills and stains won't show.

3. You can Velcro play items to the tray table when it is closed, or a small pouch can be hung over the closed tray table to keep these items handy.

Thea Freeman

Dayna (almost 5) and I have traveled to Baltimore three or four times a year since she was an infant. Here are my recommendations:

1. Book a direct, nonstop flight if possible.

2. Let the kids run wild in the airport. They are about to be trapped into a 2-by-2 area for the duration. To endure this, I recommend lots of treats.

3. Advil or a Motrin product before the flight, if your child is feeling icky, sick or has trouble with allergies and ears. Do not give a decongestant product that wires them. Consult your physician for what's best for your child.

Sue

The night before we travel is party night for the kids. There is no bedtime. They are told that they can stay up all night. They usually don't make it the whole night, but, regardless, they are very tired the next day and sleep in the plane or car. My kids are now 18, 16, 14 and 7, and they still are looking forward to this summer's "Stay-Up-All-Night-Party."

Kimberly

Before the plane had even taken off on my first trip with my 5-month-old daughter, her diaper had exploded all over both of us. I had a change of clothes for her, but not for me. A change of clothes for me would have been great.

Word of warning in this post 9/11 age: Pack the dolls or toys the kids are carrying into a carry-on bag or backpack. Otherwise, the child will have to be separated at the security gate from the beloved object and then have to watch it travel alone through the "machine." Also, stuffed objects with batteries look very bomblike on the X-ray machine, so pull the batteries out before you pack it.

Linda

My husband and I love to travel and wanted to continue after Lauren was born. She will be 4 in six weeks. Some tips:

1. Use a stroller at the airport.

2. Make sure your connection time is long enough for your comfort zone. You will need time for potty breaks, diaper changes, meals, etc.

3. Our daughter will sleep on our laps when she gets tired, but sometimes, to get to that point, I would walk to the back of the plane where the flight attendants' galley is. There I had more room to move around and rock her to sleep.

Donna

A book like "I Spy" is lots of fun. Careful of any small pieces that will get lost.

Second, food and drink are a necessity. Lunchables are good and won't squish in the bag. Lots of water or juice or Gatorade is important.

Most important: If your child is crying and your toddler is throwing a tantrum, remember ... YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE PEOPLE ON THE PLANE AGAIN.

Marilyn

Teach your children as early as possible to behave appropriately in all situations – restaurant, supermarket, playground, etc. If the plane trip is long or involves lots of waiting, all you can do is allow the child to let off steam as best he can and sleep as much as possible.

Karen

We have traveled to Hawaii every year since my daughter Lucy was 1 (she's now almost 4), and we have a 2-month-old, Allison. We always bring my mother with us. The extra set of hands lets us trade off making the flight seem not so long.

Kirsten

I have three boys who are now 5, 7 and 11 years old, but I vividly remember the nightmares of airplane travel with an infant and/or toddler. Here are some ideas from a veteran:

1. I borrowed toys from friends that my little ones had never seen. Then throughout the flight, I brought "new" toys out to entertain them.

2. When my boys were under 2, my husband and I reserved a window and aisle seat in the hopes that the middle seat would stay empty. If someone had the middle seat, they usually looked around for an empty seat after seeing who they would have to sit with!

3. Bring 10 times the amount of diapers that you think you will need. One time ... we had a layover in St. Louis that turned from one hour to six. You can never have enough diapers with you!

Sheri

Last summer, when I was six months pregnant, I flew with my 3-year-old in a seat and 18-month-old son on my lap (without my husband!).

Choose seats near the back, close to bathrooms and flight attendants. Always ask at the ticket counter if there are any better seats .... I've found the ticket agents try to be very accommodating but usually can't help until the day of the flight.

Bring milk if needed (I freeze it in a screw-top container). The airlines don't offer milk, and it can be hard to find it at the airport.

During a layover, I carry one child in a baby sling and push the other in a stroller that can also carry our other bags.

Kirsi

Look for a place for toddlers to play/run safely. Some airports have areas with "playlands" (Philadelphia) or fountains and Little Tykes toys (Detroit).

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