If Architects had to work like....
Web designers, or any employee
Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should
use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms.
Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted.
When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also,
bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am
currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that
exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it,
and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low
as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum,
vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to
explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in
construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date
ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate,
among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain
that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will
have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us
at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come
to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the
overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it
is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind
that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself.
Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these
plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner
or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal
to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the
plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the
features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he
constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would
also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful
engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting
the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to
do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised,
however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs
as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this!
To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such
freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often.
Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've
given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these
differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this.
If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer.
Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps in the morning.....
This could have many other applications.
Getting a bid ready for a prospective client can be the same as planning the actual job.
The other day a supplier said "We do the 'bid' and then send the invoice".
It's a hard call.
"You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this!
However as far as cost is concerned, we cannot really pay you but thought you
could have a link at the bottom of our page."